Yes, the Future Looks Bright, but the Moment is Hell

In this first-person point of view argumentive essay, Shawn Mullin the author uses the basic task for writing arguments in order to get his point across about his stressful life in college at the time. He first explain the issues that he having clearly in the begining of his writing to let the reader know his point of view on each. Shawn also did a great job in his essay of gathering information and providing the facts and situation about each of the problems that he is facing. He then uses these facts to provide different solutions to each of his problems, making a claim on how each would work out how each would work if he chose that option concerning that specific issue. He uses the information he knows to support his claims explaining in detail on why which one would work. When thinking about writing his parents for extra money to help him out, he comes to the claim that, ” At this point, I wouldn’t object, but i know I’ll never make that call. No, I already have a job; what i need is more hours”.(42) The orginization of each individual argument ties into the story beautifully expalining the main argument or situation he is facing at the time. He does this very effectively and makes it easy for the reader to follow. He at the end uses his arguments to come about with the best possible solution to his problems. He used his own voice and opinion to make his argument relevant and understandable from different points of view.

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2 thoughts on “Yes, the Future Looks Bright, but the Moment is Hell

  1. I agree that in this first person point of view argumentative essay, and the author gets his point across. However, in the first paragraph, he implies his thesis, but never directly states that until the conclusion. In the end he says, “Working more than twenty hours a week has negative effects on college students (42),” And that is something that should have been put it first paragraph. I think you are correct when saying that he gives us plenty of facts to base his argument on. I also agree that he also does a good job of playing out his theory, and explaining how that approach could turn out for him. You use lots of good examples to show his evidence comes from different places such as, his own experience, professors, business owners, and friends or family. My only suggestion would be to re-read it and fix some of the little spelling, grammar, and punctuation mistakes. Otherwise, I thought it was a great summary and critique of the personal perspective argument.

  2. First person writing is something that takes a lot of practice to perfect. It is easier in my opinion to write in third person because you almost take a neutral stance. The author does a good job of portraying his thoughts through a first person perspective. I would actually be hard to tell this story in third person because it’s his story. I liked how he put his thesis closer to the end of his story. I gave you more time to figure out what he was trying to say, rather than look for the thesis. It’s almost like all his writing is an intro to his thesis. The author does a good job of writing in first person and changing up his formula by moving his thesis.

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